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Here is where I blog about my pregnancy, go a year without blogging, and then come back with a five month old? Talking about birth, life with a baby, life as a Drill Instructor wife, and my stupid effing dog. Nice to meet me.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Friday, November 16, 2012
Seriously?
I just need to talk about this website:
http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/babymenub.htm
IS IT JUST ME OR IS THIS SUPER EFFING ANNOYING.
Baby pancakes. Baby omelets. What is a lentil? Why is this baby eating tofu? Why is a baby fancier than I am eating lentils and tofu? What mother is getting up in the morning making pancakes for her 9 month old to just rub all over his head/face and give to the dog. If this is real life, I fail.
Suggested feeding chart:
Breakfast- pancakes appropriate for babies with things that say organic and whole wheat and are made with love and cut into heart shapes and stars.
Lunch- Fruits and vegetables with fancy names that come from a farmers market, preferably color coordinated and also cut into shapes that are directly related to how creative you are and how much you love your child. Shitty shapes = you don't love your child.
Snack- Something off of Pinterest, and it better have a fucking face on it. And if there's crust, start back with breakfast because you FAIL.
Dinner- If it comes out of a jar or a can, give up now. Find a cage free chicken that was never given steroids and lived a happy long life, cook that chicken process some more vegetables FROM SCRATCH, serve on a plate with a face with whole wheat something. Also, in addition to these, nurse 4 - 643917 times.
Also, in addition to this, keep your house clean and run your errands and look pretty and don't be an uber bitch to everyone. YEAH RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!
My real life feeding chart:
Breakfast- Boob juice. lost piece of dog food.
Lunch: boob juice. bits of a receipt. hair.
Dinner: boob juice. puffs or other finger food straight from the container. Preferably "Parents Choice" brand because who wants to spend the extra 30 cents on Gerber graduates? Not me. Jar of fruit/vegetable straight from the factory. And paid for by the government, that's a bonus point.
Bedtime: boob juice.
CAMERON FAILS AND SO DOES HIS MOM.
http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/babymenub.htm
IS IT JUST ME OR IS THIS SUPER EFFING ANNOYING.
Baby pancakes. Baby omelets. What is a lentil? Why is this baby eating tofu? Why is a baby fancier than I am eating lentils and tofu? What mother is getting up in the morning making pancakes for her 9 month old to just rub all over his head/face and give to the dog. If this is real life, I fail.
Suggested feeding chart:
Breakfast- pancakes appropriate for babies with things that say organic and whole wheat and are made with love and cut into heart shapes and stars.
Lunch- Fruits and vegetables with fancy names that come from a farmers market, preferably color coordinated and also cut into shapes that are directly related to how creative you are and how much you love your child. Shitty shapes = you don't love your child.
Snack- Something off of Pinterest, and it better have a fucking face on it. And if there's crust, start back with breakfast because you FAIL.
Dinner- If it comes out of a jar or a can, give up now. Find a cage free chicken that was never given steroids and lived a happy long life, cook that chicken process some more vegetables FROM SCRATCH, serve on a plate with a face with whole wheat something. Also, in addition to these, nurse 4 - 643917 times.
Also, in addition to this, keep your house clean and run your errands and look pretty and don't be an uber bitch to everyone. YEAH RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!
My real life feeding chart:
Breakfast- Boob juice. lost piece of dog food.
Lunch: boob juice. bits of a receipt. hair.
Dinner: boob juice. puffs or other finger food straight from the container. Preferably "Parents Choice" brand because who wants to spend the extra 30 cents on Gerber graduates? Not me. Jar of fruit/vegetable straight from the factory. And paid for by the government, that's a bonus point.
Bedtime: boob juice.
CAMERON FAILS AND SO DOES HIS MOM.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Oh crap, hey there!
My last post was October of 2011. And it looks like I was about halfway through my pregnancy. For all you people sitting on the edge of your seats wondering where I went, I was just too busy saving lives and donating to charity and rebuilding homes in New Orleans to blog.
No really though I just kind of got lazy. ****SPOILER ALERT****** I had a baby a few months after my post. His name is Cameron, he's pretty cool. He farts in inappropriate situations, and he's occasionally shit his pants but who hasn't. Other than that, he's 5 months old and reading and writing and speaking Chinese. He always seems to be happy except for when he's screaming, and I love him.
Here's Cam:
Maybe I'll get back into this... But really I'm just putting off making a grocery list.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
20 weeks!
September 15th- Found out baby Roberts is a healthy baby BOY!
September 16th- Announced to Matt's family
September 17th- Announced to my family
September 17th (2)- Named baby Roberts Cameron!
October 1th- Started feeling movement for sure
October 2nd- Finding Cameron's heartbeat on the doppler is apparantly a game to him, we have to work for it and catch him
October 4th- Actually saw my stomach moving when Cameron punched and kicked! Went to take a video for Matt, he stops (of course).
October 13th is my next physical at Naval hospital. Hopefully I've gained some weight, according to my scale at home I haven't gained anything since my 15 week physical. Mom and baby are doing great while dad is in South Carolina attending Drill Instructor school!
September 16th- Announced to Matt's family
September 17th- Announced to my family
September 17th (2)- Named baby Roberts Cameron!
October 1th- Started feeling movement for sure
October 2nd- Finding Cameron's heartbeat on the doppler is apparantly a game to him, we have to work for it and catch him
October 4th- Actually saw my stomach moving when Cameron punched and kicked! Went to take a video for Matt, he stops (of course).
October 13th is my next physical at Naval hospital. Hopefully I've gained some weight, according to my scale at home I haven't gained anything since my 15 week physical. Mom and baby are doing great while dad is in South Carolina attending Drill Instructor school!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
16 week update
I have been MIA for a few reasons. One, my hormones have made me angry for the past month and any blog I would have made would have been me breathing fire at you by means of this laptop. Two, there are only so many posts I can make basically saying that nothing has happened yet, I'm not showing yet, I'm not gaining weight yet, and if I took a weekly stomach picture from 4 weeks to now you would have exactly 12 of the same stomach picture. Seems like a waste of time for now! Three, I haven't had an appointment or any news to report. Everything has been going normal though.
Today I finally had an appointment at Naval hospital. The norm is to take you every 5-6 weeks, and I got unlucky and got the 6 weeks. Oh well. Since my 10 week appointment I've gained 4 pounds, BUT I need to take into account what I was wearing then, which was shorts and a t-shirt and flip-flops, and what I was wearing today, which was knee high boots and jeans and a sweater. So maybe I actually gained two pounds. Maybe only even one. But I was reassured that this is normal, they measured my height and I'm 5'5" (which I knew), and apparently that is tall. I am now in the group of "tall" skinny people who have never had a baby before, so I'm going to be showing last basically and gaining weight the slowest. Cool.
The baby's heartbeat was 150-ish; it was timed by the nurse's cell phone (professional) so I don't know how accurate that is. Oh Allissa, it totally did sound like a horse running now that you asked that!
I was told I'm doing good, not to worry about now showing, not to worry about not gaining weight, and to just drink lots of water. Everything I already knew, but that's okay. I'd rather hear that than some bad news.
My anatomy scan is coming up shortly, they didn't book out that far so I need to call back in a week or two to schedule it. Next Thursday we are going down to Wilmington to have an ultrasound and basically an anatomy scan and I am happy/nervous/super excited!!! Ready to know what Baby Roberts is and hopefully know that all is well.
I took a cystic fibrosis test to see if I am a carrier since it's free, and I declined the down syndrome test since it comes with a fairly scary percentage of false positives AND false negatives, which to me defeats the purpose of getting any test done if you can't rely on the results.
At my 9 week ultrasound I was told I have a subchorionic bleed, which sounds a lot more scary than it is. It's common, harmless, and I'm not stressing over it. I basically have a little pocket of blood that formed pretty early into my pregnancy, and it's just hanging out. It's not causing any problems, but it could "burst" for lack of a better word and I'll see some blood, a small amount because it's tiny, and probably freak out. I was asked today if I had seen any, and I haven't, so they're assuming my body just reabsorbed the blood, which is the second thing the pocket of blood could have done. Next week we will see if it's still there, but to family reading this this is not anything to freak out over! Causes no issues to the baby or me, worst case scenario is I'm going to go to the bathroom one day and be slightly freaked out, that's all. But I was told if it hasn't happened by now, my body probably just reabsorbed the blood pocket and it's not going to pop.
Warning: DO NOT GOOGLE subchorionic bleed if you do not want to panic yourself. Mine is very very small, not right next to the baby, and I am now 16 weeks and have had zero bleeding. Googling brings up some scary pictures and more serious cases than mine and I should not have done it!
That's it for me! I will have a much more in depth update next week when I actually get an ultrasound.
Today I finally had an appointment at Naval hospital. The norm is to take you every 5-6 weeks, and I got unlucky and got the 6 weeks. Oh well. Since my 10 week appointment I've gained 4 pounds, BUT I need to take into account what I was wearing then, which was shorts and a t-shirt and flip-flops, and what I was wearing today, which was knee high boots and jeans and a sweater. So maybe I actually gained two pounds. Maybe only even one. But I was reassured that this is normal, they measured my height and I'm 5'5" (which I knew), and apparently that is tall. I am now in the group of "tall" skinny people who have never had a baby before, so I'm going to be showing last basically and gaining weight the slowest. Cool.
The baby's heartbeat was 150-ish; it was timed by the nurse's cell phone (professional) so I don't know how accurate that is. Oh Allissa, it totally did sound like a horse running now that you asked that!
I was told I'm doing good, not to worry about now showing, not to worry about not gaining weight, and to just drink lots of water. Everything I already knew, but that's okay. I'd rather hear that than some bad news.
My anatomy scan is coming up shortly, they didn't book out that far so I need to call back in a week or two to schedule it. Next Thursday we are going down to Wilmington to have an ultrasound and basically an anatomy scan and I am happy/nervous/super excited!!! Ready to know what Baby Roberts is and hopefully know that all is well.
I took a cystic fibrosis test to see if I am a carrier since it's free, and I declined the down syndrome test since it comes with a fairly scary percentage of false positives AND false negatives, which to me defeats the purpose of getting any test done if you can't rely on the results.
At my 9 week ultrasound I was told I have a subchorionic bleed, which sounds a lot more scary than it is. It's common, harmless, and I'm not stressing over it. I basically have a little pocket of blood that formed pretty early into my pregnancy, and it's just hanging out. It's not causing any problems, but it could "burst" for lack of a better word and I'll see some blood, a small amount because it's tiny, and probably freak out. I was asked today if I had seen any, and I haven't, so they're assuming my body just reabsorbed the blood, which is the second thing the pocket of blood could have done. Next week we will see if it's still there, but to family reading this this is not anything to freak out over! Causes no issues to the baby or me, worst case scenario is I'm going to go to the bathroom one day and be slightly freaked out, that's all. But I was told if it hasn't happened by now, my body probably just reabsorbed the blood pocket and it's not going to pop.
Warning: DO NOT GOOGLE subchorionic bleed if you do not want to panic yourself. Mine is very very small, not right next to the baby, and I am now 16 weeks and have had zero bleeding. Googling brings up some scary pictures and more serious cases than mine and I should not have done it!
That's it for me! I will have a much more in depth update next week when I actually get an ultrasound.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Begin complaints.
Today someone asked me how pregnancy was treating me. This prompted me to really think about how it was treating me, and how the things most people say about pregnancy are not happening to me. List:
1) The glow. Pregnant women are supposed to glow. I just have acne now. And no, not even my pimples glow. I have acne on my face. I have it on my shoulders. I have it on my back. All over my back. I have always had good skin, and now I look like a pepperoni pizza. I will admit to putting Mac concealer basically spackled over my entire face. Here's a picture of my back:
2) The bump. I don't have a bump, or at least not yet. But what my body did somehow magically do was drop in weight but swell everywhere. I don't wear my engagement ring, somehow it is too small for my now fat finger. I have gained baby fat in my finger. MY FINGER. And my upper arms, thighs, sides, boobs (but that's okay), and just everywhere middle EXCEPT for my stomach where a baby would be.
3) Great hair and nails. My nails are the same, but my hair... oh my hair. Well, I've switched to Head & Shoulders because I have massive amounts of dandruff. Sometimes I wonder if people think I have lice from the amount of time that I scratch my head. If you have seen white flakes fall from my head, it is not lice. Just my baby sprinkling.... love dust. And it's super greasy all the time which is awesome because I hate showering anyway, but i never looked like I didn't shower, and now I just always look like I need a shower. This is a picture I just took of my head.
My child has basically spread itself out throughout my entire body. In the form of pimples and dandruff and grease.
I would like to glow and have a bump and have long flowy hair like what I thought was supposed to happen!!!!!!!
End complaints.
1) The glow. Pregnant women are supposed to glow. I just have acne now. And no, not even my pimples glow. I have acne on my face. I have it on my shoulders. I have it on my back. All over my back. I have always had good skin, and now I look like a pepperoni pizza. I will admit to putting Mac concealer basically spackled over my entire face. Here's a picture of my back:
2) The bump. I don't have a bump, or at least not yet. But what my body did somehow magically do was drop in weight but swell everywhere. I don't wear my engagement ring, somehow it is too small for my now fat finger. I have gained baby fat in my finger. MY FINGER. And my upper arms, thighs, sides, boobs (but that's okay), and just everywhere middle EXCEPT for my stomach where a baby would be.
3) Great hair and nails. My nails are the same, but my hair... oh my hair. Well, I've switched to Head & Shoulders because I have massive amounts of dandruff. Sometimes I wonder if people think I have lice from the amount of time that I scratch my head. If you have seen white flakes fall from my head, it is not lice. Just my baby sprinkling.... love dust. And it's super greasy all the time which is awesome because I hate showering anyway, but i never looked like I didn't shower, and now I just always look like I need a shower. This is a picture I just took of my head.
My child has basically spread itself out throughout my entire body. In the form of pimples and dandruff and grease.
I would like to glow and have a bump and have long flowy hair like what I thought was supposed to happen!!!!!!!
End complaints.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
What the F*$@&
Have you ever found yourself wondering "I wonder what kind of crib bedding Jessica Roberts likes..."? No? Well f*$@% you and you should start wondering!
If you're wondering now, here is your answer.
How precious is this pink room from BabyBedding.com! Without the weird balls all over the damn place.
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That bedding is about $300. WHY. And this bedding for a boy is at the same place for $400!
I'm not even gonna post what I liked that was $500 on more. This is insane.
Notes to self, this oversized picture of adorable bedding is on clearance at Pottery Barn for $164 (YEAAAH!!)... but it will not last 6 weeks until I find out the sex.. so fail.
And this is at Polkadotpeacock.com for 400 #&(!^# dollars:
If you're wondering now, here is your answer.
How precious is this pink room from BabyBedding.com! Without the weird balls all over the damn place.
That bedding is about $300. WHY. And this bedding for a boy is at the same place for $400!
I'm not even gonna post what I liked that was $500 on more. This is insane.
Notes to self, this oversized picture of adorable bedding is on clearance at Pottery Barn for $164 (YEAAAH!!)... but it will not last 6 weeks until I find out the sex.. so fail.
And this is at Polkadotpeacock.com for 400 #&(!^# dollars:
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